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Who would you rather be? Opinionator or Negotiator

Image by : Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The world has made "being opinionated" synonymous to possessing mastery. Achievers are described as people who have strong opinions and are not afraid to push it through. Having strong opinions is almost heroic. But, in this ever changing world, where there is no "permanent", aren't your rigid opinions, hardened by your experience, replaceable for the better?

Even in case of successful negotiation, there are many studies pointing to the fact that flexibility, self-awareness and EQ are the cornerstones. Almost any consequential social interaction involves a degree of negotiation. Hence, working on mastering negotiation might make life easier.
One of the first questions one must answer, in the process of negotiation is - "Who are you negotiating with?". This doesn't just mean knowing the person but understanding the other person's view point and priorities.

Being able to think flexibly is a virtue and a very important social skill. One of the ways of doing this is using Perceptual positions.

Perceptual positions are nothing but positions that we can take to understand a problem from perspectives other than our own. Simply put, It is a model where we step out of our perception and step into someone else's, to view the problem from a different lens. When our decision in a situation affects more than just us, it is justified to spend the time to think from a few perceptual positions, before taking a call.

We might ask, what could be the benefits of doing so?

1. We get a fresh white board to draw a plan to approach any situation. A board that is not colored by our apprehensions or beliefs

2. We will get an up-close understanding of the person/people involved on the other-side and we could envision how our approach will be received

3. Our interactions become more personable and effective as they are not created in view of only our opinions, but created in view of person/people involved as well

4. Perceptual positions allow us access to a larger pool of probabilities from where we can look for a suitable solution. We are looking beyond just our experiences

5. Our decision process might come across as less predictable when we break the pattern of our usual thinking

6. We will be implicitly working on strengthening our EQ and self awareness

All of the above also happen to be personality traits of a good negotiator.

Now, imagine yourself in a situation where you have delayed a deliverable to your client. The client is furious as the delay has a dynamo effect and they are in the midst of it all. Look at the two scenario of negotiating :
Approach 1: Thinking of the problem from your perspective: Invoked action : you defend yourself with a barrage of reasons that are not attributed to your capabilities
Approach 2: Thinking of the problem from yours plus client's perspective : Invoked action : you understand the challenge they are facing too, and offer to productively collaborate with them on identifying a solution.

While we naturally would want to take the defensive stance, don't you foresee the Approach 2 working better?

After all, isn't the whole point of  "experience", functioning with an ever-improving efficiency?
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