“Blending in” is easy choice but “Standing up” is the real deal

Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

Life rewards us in mysterious ways. You "blend in" and get immediate results that amount to gratification and happiness. You may "Stand out" because you are a natural, but the world will question your worth.  "Standing up", is the real deal. 

Just like fitting in, Standing up is also a choice... the tougher choice that we make to be true to ourselves. At first, it gives nothing back to us except fear, hate, and friction. But if we hang in there using this friction, we will start to see us as an evolved version of ourselves. We will be someone describable in a few good words. We will find our identity. Even in the literal sense, Friction is the force that opposes motion. But we know that it eventually helps us. Without friction, we would touch but won't be able to feel, would draw but won't be able to leave the impressions of it, would try to climb but won't move upwards, would flow with the current but won't move forward on your chosen path, would fly but will fall with a thud. In Physics, friction helps, and maybe we can learn from nature and use it psychologically.

So many young people today, feel depressed and unhappy when they face rejection. Maybe equating rejection to necessary friction will help us in dealing with life. Friction is a force of nature that is meant for a greater good. "Standing up" for what we believe, feel, and decide is not easy. Let's absorb that life will give us friction, in ways more than imaginable. Let's train our mind and heart to dodge the curveballs. Let's be aware of what to expect.

I notice people around me, who are able to manage the consequences of standing up, with seeming ease. Maybe we can keep in mind a few golden lessons learned from the ones who tread this path.

Have conviction, don't convince: People will hurl questions, critique, and counter-truths. Be prepared and defend your version. If you are not able to convince them, just let it be. It is ok. Accept and appreciate the differences but don't let go. Use the counter-truths as friction that help you move forward.

Choose your battles: Not everything can be worthy of going to war for. Choose your causes and preserve your energy for things that matter to you. Don't go to war with society to prove your truth. The war is between their truth and yours and that is happening in your head. Your biggest defense is your conviction. 

Be your gatekeeper: Don't take everything to heart or head. As they say, listen to everyone but do what your heart and head urge you to do. When you stand up for what you believe in and stand up to society for it, there ought to be criticism and friction. We have to learn to block it out. Strain the criticism removing the feelings from it and only concentrate on the objectivity of it. If you think it's worth it, take it to heart. Not everyone can be worthy of reaching your core.

Prepare for failure too:  Acceptance and preparedness is like the parachute that will protect your fragile ego from the rude thud of failure, when things come crashing at times. Failure is a part of the package. Be aware that you will have failures and heartache. When you know its coming you can deal with it better. Preparedness for failure will help you like the fluid friction.

Choose your backers: Sometimes you need people to question you, but not the ones who intent for you to fail. Sometimes you need healthy challenges to test your own conviction. Let there be your backers who wish you well and still give you friction to help you climb up.

When we wish for any kind of resistance to be gone, that is when its presence makes us frustrated. What if we start expecting it, accepting it, and mitigating, won't our life be much happier?

Think about any instance in your life, maybe it will make better sense.