Skip to main content

Happy Mothers day! Shed the guilt for being you

Pic source : pixabay 

Today is Mother's day. The day when our children cluelessly wish us "Happy mothers day". It is a special day when we acknowledge the hard work that goes into being a mom. 

A roles of a mother has so much dichotomy. We wear many faces but have to make sure that the most pleasant face is the one showing. While you are trying to manage all your ten roles, the most important is the one that makes sure your kids see you as a juggler supermom, who means well and not as a scary monster, who is out to get them.

As a mother and in general, why do we feel the need to juggle so many roles?
Simply because it's mandatory to be perfect and better than the others.  Thats what they said. And they still say so much.

If you have a career, they say you are too busy for you kids. If you are a stay at home-mom,  they say you can do more. And if you do both well, and get close to their "Perfect". They'd simply change the goalpost
If you cook well, they say you have too much time at hand. If you can't cook, they assume you cant handle your home
If you send your kids to extra classes, they say you cant do it yourself, if you do it yourself they say you are overconfident

But, who are they? You may think. I think, "THEY" are "US".. all of us. We are all a part of it and I think we don't even know it. How does one correct a problem, when we don't know where it exists. All we can do is control whats in our control and that is; how do we feel about motherhood? 

Motherhood has many challenges but having our kids love us more for pushing them, for scolding them, for correcting them, is the biggest of them all. Shedding the guilt for not being perfect, is magical.

Let them deal with their life, They didn't come into this world to fulfil your dreams, so all you can do is teach them to be confident and find their calling

Teach them never to hurt you with their words. They will figure out better ways to get their point through. You'd be doing the biggest favour to their future partners 

Be real ; so they don't learn to live life pretending to be someone else

Explain the reason for everything and rationalise your rules. You don’t want them to grow up to be "yes-men / yes-women"

Give respect and take respect. What you do to them, will come right back at you sooner or later

Be honest and protect their trust in you 

Have a guilt free day! Maybe make an honest attempt to stretch it to last a bit longer than today and if possible, make it go on as long as you exist.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When a stranger called me an idiot

Photo by Goutham Ganesh Sivanandam on Unsplash It was a laid back weekend afternoon, a perfect day for home shopping. I was walking with my extra-large cart, through the aisles of Ikea. Blinded by the colors of the pillow covers, I was oscillating between looking at the items on display and my way ahead. Maneuvering through the narrow bends, I pushed my cart cautiously. Just then, a lady (middle-aged), engrossed in picking between the two pillow-covers in her hand, stepped backward and appeared right in front of my cart. Obviously, you guessed it - We crashed! My instant reaction was "Sorry". Sorry because, firstly, most probably just like me, she was blinded too, by the colorfully tempting cushions on display. Secondly, it was a mishap. No one decks up and leaves home planning to accidentally hurt someone at Ikea. My "sorry" was not an expression of regret. It was an expression of sympathy. I do understand, English can be complicated. Maybe something the East Indi...
5 comments
Read more

Our Identity is our masterpiece!

jozefmicic/Adobe Stock Disclaimer : I am not an aspiring shrink. I might be a few years too late for that attempt Hi my readers! ( yes, all 4 of you out there! :-) ) I often think about why people suffer Identity Crisis. All of us have or do face it on and off. The key, I feel, is in how we answer just one question. A very important question; How do I describe myself ? It might be fruitful to introspect and find out what our answer to that question has been. More importantly, if we have answered it ourselves. Is it our own authentic answer? when someone asks us to describe ourselves, the first few things that pop into our head might be: 1. What job do we do? 2. How good or bad we are at it? 3. What belief do we relate to - religious, political or others 4. What is our role? 5. What is our social status? 6. How we look? and so on. But think about who has actually answered these questions. We rely on our boss to tell us what role we play and how good or bad...
4 comments
Read more

Happy International Women's Day 2020!

Women : We are same, we are unique, we are Awesome! Ever wondered, why we need L'Oreal to tell us that "we are worth it"? In the year 1973 this phrase was launched in an ad and it caught on instantly as it resonated with the women then. It definitely must have been an excellent marketing campaign launched about 40 plus years ago. While, it tapped an untapped marketplace within the women community and increased business multi-fold, it gave a much needed boost to more women to focus on self care and beauty. It also gave women a sense of empowerment and spoke from their point of view at a time when it was a new and shiny concept. This somewhat still seems pertinent but we must acknowledge that the world for a woman has changed drastically and still is constantly evolving. Today's women are characteristically diverse. Thousand years of patriarchy has affected the lives of women in varying magnitudes and this has caused us to also have varying degrees of self...
2 comments
Read more